Two and a Half Men Tvshow
Two adults. One kid. No grown-ups.
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house. themoviedb
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Two and a Half Men subtitles for all seasons and episodes
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S01E01 Pilot
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S01E02 Big Flappy Bastards
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S01E03 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
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S01E04 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
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S01E05 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
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S01E06 Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
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S01E07 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
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S01E08 Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
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S01E09 Phase One, Complete
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S01E10 Merry Thanksgiving
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S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
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S01E12 Camel Filters and Pheromones
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S01E13 Sarah Like Puny Alan
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S01E14 I Can't Afford Hyenas
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S01E15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
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S01E16 That Was Saliva, Alan
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S01E17 Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
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S01E18 An Old Flame With a New Wick
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S01E19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
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S01E20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
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S01E21 No Sniffing, No Wowing
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S01E22 My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
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S01E23 Just Like Buffalo
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S01E24 Can You Feel My Finger?
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S02E01 Back Off, Mary Poppins
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S02E02 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
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S02E03 A Bag Full of Jawea
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S02E04 Go Get Mommy's Bra
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S02E05 Bad News from the Clinic?
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S02E06 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
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S02E07 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
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S02E08 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
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S02E09 Yes, Monsignor
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S02E10 The Salmon Under My Sweater
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S02E11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
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S02E12 A Lungful of Alan
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S02E13 Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
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S02E14 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
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S02E15 Smell the Umbrella Stand
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S02E16 Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
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S02E17 Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
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S02E18 It Was Mame, Mom
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S02E19 A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
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S02E20 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
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S02E21 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
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S02E22 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
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S02E23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
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S02E24 Does This Smell Funny to You?
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S03E01 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
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S03E02 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
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S03E03 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
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S03E04 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
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S03E05 We Called It Mr. Pinky
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S03E06 Hi, Mr. Horned One
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S03E07 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
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S03E08 That Voodoo That I Do Do
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S03E09 Madame and Her Special Friend
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S03E10 Something Salted and Twisted
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S03E11 Santa's Village of the Damned
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S03E12 That Special Tug
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S03E13 Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
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S03E14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
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S03E15 My Tongue is Meat
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S03E16 Ergo, the Booty Call
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S03E17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
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S03E18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler
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S03E19 Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
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S03E20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
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S03E21 And the Plot Moistens
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S03E22 Just Once With Aunt Sophie
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S03E23 Arguments for the Quickie
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S03E24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
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S04E01 Working for Caligula
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S04E02 Who's Vod Kanockers?
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S04E03 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
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S04E04 A Pot Smoking Monkey
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S04E05 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
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S04E06 Apologies for the Frivolity
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S04E07 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
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S04E08 Release the Dogs
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S04E09 Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
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S04E10 Kissing Abraham Lincoln
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S04E11 Walnuts and Demerol
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S04E12 Castrating Sheep in Montana
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S04E13 Don't Worry, Speed Racer
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S04E14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
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S04E15 My Damn Stalker
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S04E16 Young People Have Phlegm Too
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S04E17 I Merely Slept With a Commie
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S04E18 It Never Rains in Hooterville
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S04E19 Smooth as a Ken Doll
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S04E20 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
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S04E21 Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
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S04E22 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
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S04E23 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
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S04E24 Prostitutes and Gelato
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S05E01 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
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S05E02 Media Room Slash Dungeon
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S05E03 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
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S05E04 City of Great Racks
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S05E05 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
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S05E06 Help Daddy Find His Toenail
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S05E07 Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
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S05E08 Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
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S05E09 Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
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S05E10 Kinda Like Necrophilia
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S05E11 Meander to Your Dander
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S05E12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
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S05E13 The Soil Is Moist
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S05E14 Winky-Dink Time
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S05E15 Rough Night in Hump Junction
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S05E16 Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
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S05E17 Fish in a Drawer
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S05E18 If My Hole Could Talk
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S05E19 Waiting for the Right Snapper
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S06E01 Taterhead Is Our Love Child
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S06E02 Pie Hole, Herb
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S06E03 Damn You, Eggs Benedict
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S06E04 The Flavin' and the Mavin'
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S06E05 A Jock Strap in Hell
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S06E06 It's Always Nazi Week
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S06E07 Best H.O. Money Can Buy
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S06E08 Pinocchio's Mouth
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S06E09 The Mooch at the Boo
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S06E10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
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S06E11 The Devil's Lube
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S06E12 Thank God for Scoliosis
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S06E13 I Think You Offended Don
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S06E14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
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S06E15 I'd Like to Start With the Cat
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S06E16 She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
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S06E17 The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
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S06E18 My Son's Enormous Head
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S06E19 The Two Finger Rule
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S06E20 Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
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S06E21 Above Exalted Cyclops
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S06E22 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
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S06E23 Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
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S06E24 Baseball Was Better with Steroids
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S07E01 818-jklpuzo
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S07E02 Whipped Unto the Third Generation
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S07E03 Mmm, Fish. Yum.
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S07E04 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
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S07E05 For the Sake of the Child
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S07E06 Give Me Your Thumb
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S07E07 Untainted by Filth
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S07E08 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
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S07E09 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
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S07E10 That's Why They Call It Ball Room
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S07E11 Warning, It's Dirty
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S07E12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
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S07E13 Yay, No Polyps!
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S07E14 Crude and Uncalled For (1)
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S07E15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)
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S07E16 Tinkle Like a Princess
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S07E17 I Found Your Moustache
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S07E18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day
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S07E19 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
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S07E20 I Called Him Magoo
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S07E21 Gumby with a Pokey
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S07E22 This Is Not Gonna End Well
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S08E01 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
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S08E02 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
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S08E03 A Pudding-Filled Cactus
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S08E04 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
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S08E05 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
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S08E06 Twanging Your Magic Clanger
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S08E07 The Crazy Bitch Gazette
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S08E08 Springtime on a Stick
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S08E09 A Good Time in Central Africa
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S08E10 Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
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S08E11 Dead from the Waist Down
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S08E12 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
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S08E13 Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
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S08E14 Lookin' for Japanese Subs
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S08E15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
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S08E16 That Darn Priest
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S09E01 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
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S09E02 People Who Love Peepholes
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S09E03 Big Girls Don't Throw Food
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S09E04 Nine Magic Fingers
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S09E05 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
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S09E06 The Squat and the Hover
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S09E07 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
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S09E08 Thank You for the Intercourse
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S09E09 Frodo's Headshots
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S09E09 Frodo's Headshots
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S09E10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
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S09E11 What a Lovely Landing Strip
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S09E12 One False Move, Zimbabwe!
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S09E13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
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S09E14 A Possum on Chemo
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S09E15 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
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S09E16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
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S09E17 Not in My Mouth!
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S09E18 The War Against Gingivitis
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S09E19 Palmdale, Ech
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S09E20 Grandma's Pie
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S09E21 Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
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S09E22 Why We Gave Up Women
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S09E23 The Straw in My Donut Hole
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S09E24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
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S10E01 I Changed My Mind About the Milk
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S10E02 A Big Bag of Dog
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S10E03 Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
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S10E04 You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
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S10E05 That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
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S10E06 Ferrets, Attack!
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S10E07 Avoid the Chinese Mustard
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S10E08 Something My Gynecologist Said
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S10E09 I Scream When I Pee
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S10E10 One Nut Johnson
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S10E11 Give Santa a Tail-Hole
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S10E12 Welcome to Alancrest
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S10E13 Grab a Feather and Get in Line
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S10E14 Run, Steven Staven! Run!
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S10E15 Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
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S10E16 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
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S10E17 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
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S10E18 The 9:04 from Pemberton
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S10E19 Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
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S10E20 Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
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S10E21 Another Night With Neil Diamond
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S10E22 My Bodacious Vidalia
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S10E23 Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
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S11E01 Nangnangnangnang
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S11E02 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
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S11E03 This Unblessed Biscuit
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S11E04 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
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S11E05 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
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S11E06 Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
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S11E07 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
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S11E08 Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
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S11E09 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
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S11E10 On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
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S11E11 Tazed in the Lady Nuts
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S11E12 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
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S11E13 Bite Me, Supreme Court
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S11E14 Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe
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S11E15 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
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S11E16 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
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S11E17 Welcome Home, Jake
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S11E18 West Side Story
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S11E19 Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
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S11E20 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
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S11E21 Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
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S11E22 Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
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S12E01 The Ol' Mexican Spinach
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S12E02 A Chic Bar in Ibiza
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S12E03 Glamping in a Yurt
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S12E04 Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
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S12E05 Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
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S12E06 Alan Shot a Little Girl
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S12E07 Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
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S12E08 Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
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S12E09 Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
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S12E10 Here I Come, Pants!
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S12E11 For Whom the Booty Calls
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S12E12 A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
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S12E13 Boompa Loved His Hookers
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S12E14 Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
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S12E15 Of Course He's Dead (1)
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S12E16 Of Course He's Dead (2)
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